Is it wrong to love me?
by Lia Cozack
Summary: A short fic about Santana's hesitation about loving Brittany.


Santana told Brittany she loved her, and Brittany immediately responded, "I love you too, you don't know how happy I am that you have finally have said it to me."

Two weeks after Santana and Brittany's exchanges of "I love you(s)" Santana stopped speaking to Brittany. Brittany didn't know why. She thought that they were finally on track, finally where they should have always been. "_We're together right?"_ she thought.

One day Brittany was fed up with Santana's constant excuses. She cornered Santana in the Girl's Locker Room and said, "Santana, what is up with you? Why are you avoiding me?"

"I'm not," Santana coldly denied.

"Yes, you are," Brittany said with a calm yet annoyed lilt to her voice. "Well, if you say you are not, then come over to my place after school. I want to talk about things."

"Ok," Santana agreed shrugging.

After school Brittany paced around her room, waiting for Santana. She didn't know what Santana's reason was for acting odd. _Does she regret saying she loved me? Does she not? Does she want to break up with me? Did a do something wrong?_

Santana arrived to Brittany's house a little late and slowly made her way to Brittany's room. Brittany didn't hold her lateness against her, she loved Santana, and she was glad to have her there.

"Hey, baby," Brittany greeted.

"Hi," Santana replied hugging Brittany. Brittany could feel the tension that came with Santana into her room. She was afraid and nervous.

"San, I didn't want to say too much at school, because, you know, people. But, ever since we've told each other "I love you" things have become _different. _I don't know why, but they have. I was wondering if you could explain."

Santana didn't want to drag this thing out. She wanted to be honest, something she has always promised to be with Brittany. "I know. I'm sorry. It's just, it's…just…I…can't love you," she said in a small voice.

Brittany couldn't speak. It felt like the room was stuffy, and her eyes felt stingy, and she wanted to vomit.

"You?" Brittany's voice shook, "can't?"

"Baby," Santana cooed, seeing Brittany crumbling to pieces.

"You don't love me?" Brittany said in disbelief, trying to fight the pain and urge to burst into tears and lash out.

"I didn't say I don't. I said I can't," Santana clarified in a regretful tone.

"But why?" Brittany held Santana's hand tightly.

"It feels wrong."

"What, loving a girl? Or you can't handle coming out or the challenges of being a lesbian in a world that isn't kind?"

"More the second, than the first, but both."

"Is it wrong to love this?" Brittany pointed to her face. Santana didn't understand. "Is it wrong to love this?" Brittany combed her hand through her silky flat-ironed blond hair. Santana did really love her blond hair, even though she preferred it naturally curly, though there was no doubt in Santana's mind Brittany had beautiful hair. She had liked combing her hand through it as well, while they kissed. "Is it wrong to love this?" Brittany leaned forward and captured Santana's lips for a gentle and soft kiss. "Or this?" Brittany stuck her tongue into Santana's mouth and massaged tongues. Santana hummed into her mouth. "Do you feel bad when I take off this?" Brittany took off her shirt. "Is it wrong for you to love these?" she unlatched her bra. Santana blinked a few times seeing Brittany's bare breasts. Santana reached out a hand as if she were going to cup Brittany's breast. "No, no, for lovers only," Brittany swatted her hand. "Do you feel it's wrong when these come off?" Brittany undid her jeans. She tossed them to the floor. Santana blinked again. "Or how about these?" Brittany hooked her thumbs into her panties. "Is it wrong to want to touch me here?" Brittany slid her panties down and tossed them somewhere across the room. She spread her legs wide, wide so Santana could see everything. "Is it wrong that you make me feel this way?" she said referring to her apparent wetness. Santana licked her lips and bit the inside of her cheek.

"Brittany, I love every inch of you. But, it's so hard feeling this way. You are the most beautiful girl in the world. I can't believe you love me."

"I do love you. I do," Brittany wrapped her arms around Santana and pulled her on top of her naked body. They kissed passionately. "So why can't you love me?"

"I'm afraid. I don't want my life to change. I want to be normal. But, I'm stupid if I think that losing you is worth it to create a normal life. I will never be normal without you. I don't know what I was thinking, baby. Brittany Susan Pierce, thank God for your unconventional ways!" Santana eyes roamed Brittany's body.

"Can we make love now?" Brittany asked.

Santana said, "yes" with a kiss.


End file.
